Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Fighting Tube

You sat on your ass.
You read and woolgathered.
Like a wet glass on wood
you left rings 'round what mattered.
Now you sit there and say
you'll stand up for what's right,
but you might as well wave goodnight.
'cause when you look back and see blood
it's too late for peace and love.
The judge says
it's time.
To pull out your fighting tube.
You snacked on crunch snacks,
fat beef and cheese platters.
You drove everywhere,
even bedroom to bathroom.
Now you sit there and plan
to exercise your rights,
but you might as well wave good night.
'cause when you look back and see blood
it's too late for peace and love.
The doctor says
it's time.
To pull out your fighting tube.
And you won't miss it.
Not a bit.
You may wonder
what you saw in it.
You'll feel the peace
spreading out beneath you.
And you'll wonder just what took you.
'cause when you look back and see blood
it's too late for peace and love.
You know
it's time.
To pull out your fighting tube.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Title Warehouse #4

  • My Very Female Wife
  • The Funniest Man in Texas
  • Oh, Craquerstan, My Craquerstan!
  • Tho Thor

Friday, July 22, 2005

It's Boston's Fault

The people of Boston are so liberal.
I wanna fuck that boy.

So open-minded and so liberal.
I wanna fuck that boy.

The people of Boston are so liberal.
Makes me wanna fuck that boy.

So screwed up and so liberal.
I wanna fuck that boy.

And I've never even been to Boston.
I wouldn't know the way.
But somethin' 'bout those people in Boston
seems to be turnin' me gay.

I wanna fuck that boy.


A little trip into the mind of Rick Santorum.

Here's a draft of the song.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Title Warehouse #3

Today's pool:
  • The Girl with the Spectacular Ass
  • Refreshingly Moist
  • Blues You Can Use
  • Fun is for the Young

Saturday, July 02, 2005

I Hate Our Freedom

I hate our freedom,
hate our fun,
the choice to have or not to have
sex with anyone.

I hate the church.
I hate the state.
I hate the space between them.
I hate how I can freely say
how much I hate my freedom.

Socialists in Europe
gaze across the pond and frown.
They live in huts in Amsterdam
and plot to bring us down.
The French, the Swedes,
the Luxembourgese,
the Injuns with their dots--
our grand offensive freedom
is always in their thoughts.

I hate our freedom,
hate our fun,
the choice to have or not to have
sex with anyone.

I hate the sun.
I hate the sky.
I hate the open air.
I hate that I am not required
to cut my hippie hair.

Socialists in Europe
gaze across the pond and frown.
They live in huts in Amsterdam
and plot to bring us down.
But though they hate us gaily,
thoroughly and often,
if they saw my rabid hatred,
out of sympathy they'd soften.


I hate our freedom,
hate our fun,
the choice to have or not to have
sex with anyone.

No PBS. No CNN.
No NBC. No FOX.
I feel the hatred curl my hair
and scrunchy up my nuts.

Update: finally recorded this.